In this regular column series, Bernie Shelly explores the strange, funny rituals of everyday surf life — from awkward line-up conversations and endless paddle-outs to bruised egos and near-collisions in the surf. At the centre is Ichabod: intense, stubborn and fiercely focused, the perfect foil for Bernie’s dry humour and sharp observations about friendship, etiquette and the absurd beauty of sharing waves with other people.
7. Packing For a Trip.
Perhaps I shouldn’t have told Ichabod I was going on a surf trip. “Girls-only trips are fun,” I said, “just up the road to Elands on the West Coast, or miles in the air to the Maldives.”
Into tease mode, I repeat ‘girls only’. Bad Move — he set to mansplaining immediately, compiling a list of what I need to take.
“There are things a surfer chick shouldn’t leave behind!” he told me.
Surfer Chick? I could tell he delighted in using some surf lingo. He was making progress. Soon he’ll be calling me, ‘Hey Bru. Surfer dude.’
I try to explain to him that I was teasing, that it’s not necessary, I don’t need a list, thank you.
But he’s enjoying himself.
“Here are some items that I recommend you pack.” He writes them down.
Neatly:
Panado / Myprodol.
Anti-nausea medication for travel-sickness — he knows I get motion sick.
Anti-histamines, in case, you know, insects, bees
Bactroban ointment. For cuts and stuff.
Elastoplasts
A crepe bandage
Tabard. In case of mozzies
Burn-shield bandages
Savlon and cotton wool
Tweezers —- he doesn’t mention the stray hairs on my chin.
“Okay, thanks. But really . . .”
He beams, happy to help. “But that’s not all. You need stuff that’s specific to surfing.” He adds ‘Bru’ for good measure.
I sigh.
Vaseline to prevent rash on your neck and underarms
Aqueous cream or baby bum cream to treat it
Arnica gel. Anti-inflammatories.
A broad spectrum antibiotic for treating the infection in your foot from the coral wipe-out you’re hopefully not going to have, or sea urchins. You’ll need a script for this.
I object because arbitrary careless antibiotic use has become a problem leading to antibiotic resistance. I say so and he flinches — he knows I’m right. He hates that.
A surgical blade to dig around for that elusive piece sea urchin trying to smuggle itself home with you.
He chuckles at his wit.
For severe gashes see a professional asap to avoid chronic infection and to ensure clean wounds.
Sleeping tablets for the plane and/or for help with jet-lag
Probiotics and Rehydrate solution for travel diarrhoea
Rescue remedy for when your board comes out of the plane all bashed up!
Against bugs on a flight, Bactroban Nasal can help. Also Buscopan, Valoids, Immodium.
Your regular medications and supplements.
Loo paper, tissues, sanitary products, zinc full block-out, other sunscreen and after-sun creams.
“What sanitary products?” I ask. He clears his throat. Continues writing.
Research drinking water warnings, yellow fever and malaria prophylaxis requirements. Check travel health insurance.
“Leave only footprints, take only memories,” he adds, pleased with himself.
“Oh for heavens sake, Ichabod, we’re only going to Yzerfontein. For the day.”
I think that’s scant reason not talk to me.
Check in next week for more lessons with Ichabod.